He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
