just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
