I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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