I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize