I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
