Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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