You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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