can we get nightvision for the apartment?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
