I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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