His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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