where am i from again
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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