wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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