Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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