And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What a dumb baby whore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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