my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
