"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
its liver damage thursday
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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