Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
