dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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