Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
