TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
