as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
