god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
foreskin is a definite game changer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
