Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
