Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
