Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
