Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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