She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
