Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we have officially lost it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
