Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
