We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
