I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
