I'm really into asian looking animals
someone owes me an orgasm
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
