I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
