You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
