You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i will never coherently bang her
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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