Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I cockslap morals
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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