No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
