my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't think brook has ever known best
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
