im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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