could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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