So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
