we're blogging at a bar
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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