A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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