"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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