Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
