Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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