I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
