My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just forgot I was standing up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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