I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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