she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
