and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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