Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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