when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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