He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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