Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think my mom watched the whole time
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
