dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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