i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
